Thoughtfulness

Have you ever met someone who is thoughtful? Or maybe you are a thoughtful person yourself. As a person who is thoughtful I recognize it in others and / or the lack thereof. To be thoughtful you must be paying attention on purpose and act with kindness while deeply considering the other person. 

Think about it! Even if you are being thoughtful of a complete stranger you are paying attention and being kind on purpose. I might let someone else have the better parking spot because I am paying attention and noticed them circling the lot when I arrived and even though I got to the better spot first because I noticed and because I am acting in kindness I give them the spot. Some would say that's crazy. I would not give up the spot, regardless of it I noticed they'd been looking for one longer. I found it first, it's mine. 

I think this can be a normal response , however being thoughtful typically makes us feel good and hopefully brings a little positivity into another humans life. But like most things in life, if we are thoughtful and out of balance we forget to be thoughtful to ourselves or at the expense of ourselfs. Therefore we need skills and techniques to ensure we are being balanced. Here's a few to get you started. 

1. Self-Reflection: Take time to assess your feelings, needs, and priorities. Understanding your own emotions can help you be more empathetic towards yourself.
2. Set Boundaries: Learn to say no when necessary. Establishing personal boundaries ensures you're not overextending yourself while still being available for others.
3. Prioritize Self-Care: Make self-care a priority in your daily routine. This can include physical, mental, and emotional activities that rejuvenate you.
4. Practice Active Listening: When interacting with others, give them your full attention. This demonstrates care without sacrificing your own mental space.
5. Communicate Openly: Share your needs with friends and family. Honesty about your capacity to help fosters understanding and mutual respect.
6. Evaluate Relationships: Assess the dynamics of your relationships. Make sure they are reciprocal and beneficial for both parties involved when applicable.
7. Schedule Time for Yourself: Allocate specific times for your interests or relaxation. This ensures you maintain a healthy balance between social obligations and personal time.
8. Engage in Mutual Support: Choose to engage in relationships where thoughtfulness is reciprocal. Support each other’s needs and successes for a balanced give-and-take dynamic.
9. Practice Gratitude: Acknowledge both your needs and those of others. Expressing gratitude can enhance relationships and remind you of the positive aspects of giving and receiving care.
10. Reflect and Adjust: Regularly reflect on your balance between caring for others and yourself. Adjust your approach as needed to maintain harmony and well-being.

By following these steps, you can nurture both your relationships and yourself simultaneously, creating a fulfilling and balanced life where you can be thoughtful to others and towards yourself. 
Loretta Gilmore MSW, LCSW